<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>You See Everything by babyhellboy</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25853491">You See Everything</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/babyhellboy/pseuds/babyhellboy'>babyhellboy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Warrior Nun (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst With A Happyish Ending, F/F, and then kinda spiraled into something else, brief Shannon Masters, canon compliant sorry yall, idk man im bad at this, it started off as me ranting about lilith and shannon bonding over being artists</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 06:14:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,511</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25853491</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/babyhellboy/pseuds/babyhellboy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Mary sees Lilith's sketchbook and suddenly a lot of things start to make much more sense</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sister Lilith/Shotgun Mary (Warrior Nun)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>48</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You See Everything</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lilith and Shannon got along better than most people thought. The halo bearer noticed one day that Lilith liked to draw and asked her about it. The way Lilith’s face lit up was so wonderful, nobody had asked her about her art before. It wasn’t exactly their fault or anything, Lilith was pretty intimidating. The two women bonded over art together. It was a thing nobody could take from them that was special to them both. They spent a lot of time together after missions talking and drawing and unwinding. One day, Shannon gave Lilith one of the old sketchbooks she never used. She saw the way the younger woman would admire the bound leather cover but never asked about it because it wasn't her place to do so. Lilith didn’t know what to say but gave Shannon the tightest hug Shannon had ever received from the thin girl. </p>
<p>And then Shannon had to go and die. </p>
<p>Lilith sat at the edge of Shannon’s desk. She had looked through some of Shannon's sketchbooks and was reminiscing the moments they spent drawing together as sad tear escaped the corner of her eye. She remembered all those moments like they happened minutes earlier. Flipping through the sketchbook, Lilith reached a page just absolutely full of Mary. She remembers this day so clearly.  Shannon and Lilith had spent the afternoon watching Mary talk so some new recruits. The way that Mary interacted with the new girls, answering their many questions with patience and kindness always inspired the two women. And so they watch Mary with sketchbooks in hand. They admired her so much. Her confidence, her strength, her power. How could anyone not fall in love with this wonderful woman?<br/>Lilith held the sketchbook close to her chest, walking out of Shannon's room hoping nobody would ask her what she was doing with one of Shannon's belongings. As she reached her own room, she looked through her few belongings and found her own sketchbooks tucked away. Lilith pulled one out and turned to the page where she had also drawn the many faces of Mary on that day. She looked back and forth between the two sketchbooks. They had very different styles yet both were still so beautiful. Mary was beautiful. </p>
<p>Lilith drew Mary because it made her feel comfortable. It made her feel safe. Nobody would ever see the sketches and she was content with that. Until one day, Lilith forgot to put the sketchbooks away. She was in a rush and her door was left open. Anyone could see the mess of supplies on her desk. And of course that anyone just so happened to be Mary. She noticed little excerpts on the pages with her face sketched on them. ‘She's so beautiful’ ‘the way her cheeks caught the sunlight today...’ ‘I wish I could tell her how I feel’. Mary stared at the words as all the pieces finally fell into place.</p>
<p>The way Mary used to catch Lilith staring at her so intensely. Always with a book (Mary finally realized it was this very sketchbook). The way her gaze always lingered for just a little too long and how her face would flush whenever Mary caught her looking. But now Mary sat there, holding the sketchbook in her hands. Tears streamed down her face because she was too late. Too late again just like last time. She wondered if God would ever give her a break. How could she not have seen the signals. They were all there. Lilith treated her differently from anyone else and Mary had just chalked it up to not respecting her on the same level as the others. But it was the opposite. Lilith cared so much. Lilith wanted Mary to see her. But Mary was too oblivious to see her.... and now Lilith was gone. Mary finally realized exactly how she felt about Lilith. Her feelings were all jumbled up before. There was never a moment in which she could sit and breathe. Never a moment left to process what had happened for a really long time let alone everything that happened within the last two weeks. </p>
<p>Mary was pissed. She was furious. How dare Lilith leave the way that she did. How dare the halo take yet another person away. Why couldn't Ava have just tried a little bit harder to fight the tarask. She was upset. But underneath that mask of anger... it was just sadness. So she lets the facade fall. She crawls into a ball just like she had on Shannon’s bed before. Mary let the tears fall as she clutched the stupid sketchbook that held all of Lilith’s innermost thoughts. And she just cried. When would she stop losing those she loved, she wonders. When would the pain and suffering end. Why should she keep fighting for a cause that keeps taking so much away from her. Constantly giving more of herself than what she received in return. She couldn’t do it anymore. It hurt too much. </p>
<p>Mary wiped the tears away from her face and took a deep breath as she sat up on the bed She tucked the sketchbook under her arm and walked out of Lilith's room and closed the door behind her. Mary stood there for a beat, head resting on the closed door as she took a moment to collect herself once more. She’s good at compartmentalizing her feelings. You have to get good at it if you're in the OCS. And so she prepared herself for what came next. they've got to go back to ArqTech. She busied herself with everything she possibly could. She feels like they’re going on a wild goose chase for a map she didn’t think they'd be able to find. They did find it however, and she thought that maybe Lilith's death would not be for nothing.She was lying to herself. Lilith meant so much more to her than a stupid ancient scrap of paper ever would. </p>
<p>And then they returned and Beatrice told her.</p>
<p>“Lilith is back.”</p>
<p>How. How could this be possible, Mary wonders. She saw Lilith die with her own eyes. She saw Lilith get taken from her. She still had nightmares about it but she wouldn’t tell anyone. She wanted to see Lilith the moment Beatrice told her. But she couldn’t. She remembered the conversation she had with Lilith right before she disappeared. Mary can't face Lilith after the hurtful things she had said. </p>
<p>So she didn’t.</p>
<p>And they left for the Vatican and it tore Mary apart inside having to leave Lilith there alone. Having to leave her without a single person she knew. Mary feels like she's abandoned Lilith. And it ate away at her inside. But she couldn’t speak to Lilith after what she had done. She couldn’t forgive herself. Mary was silent during the trip to the Vatican. She had closed herself off again and she wouldn’t make the same mistake a third time.</p>
<p>They had arrived at the Vatican and it was time to get to work. Things ran about as smoothly as possible for their little team. They somehow managed to make it to the catacombs and everything was in place. Everything was going according to plan and suddenly Lilith was there. Lilith had blood on her face and a slight moment of panic coursed through Mary. Whose blood was that. Was Lilith okay? Was she injured? Who did Mary have to kill? </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Something wasn’t right. Mary's stomach drops. Lilith's eyes are slightly glazed over as she tries to stop Ava from getting into the tomb. Mary couldn’t let Lilith stop Ava but she couldn’t let Ava kill Lilith either. She was scared. Mary didn’t want Lilith to die. She couldn’t let that happen not again. So she shouted at Ava she begged her not to shoot Lilith. She cradled Lilith in her arms. It's a little bit difficult because Mary is smaller than Lilith is. Why had she never held her like this before she wonders. She soothed Lilith and brought her back from whatever was trapping her in her mind. Whatever it was that took hold of her had retreated and it was just Lilith and Mary now. Mary forgot for just a moment that there was anyone else there. </p>
<p>“I see you. I've got you.”</p>
<p>How long had Lilith wanted that? How long had Lilith longed for anyone to notice her. To hold her and tell her she's safe. Mary knew what she had to do. Mary knew what she would do for the rest of her life now. They just had to get out of there first. They had to deal with everything at the Vatican and then. Then Mary would tell her just exactly how much Lilith meant to her. They would talk. And Mary would hold Lilith just the way they both need it. The comfort of knowing Lilith was there and that she was alive. Mary would tell her she loved her. And she hoped that they would be okay.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>